Emotional Abuse Characteristics
What are the characteristics of emotional abuse? This form of abuse is any non-physical behavior or attitude that controls, intimidates, subjugate, demeans, punishes or isolates another person by using degradation, humiliation or fear.
- Yelling,
- Screaming, and
- Name-calling are all forms of emotional abuse, as are more
- Subtle tactics: refusing to be pleased with anything,
- Isolating an individual from family and friends and
- Invalidating another’s thoughts and feelings.
Examples
Here is a list of examples of emotional abuse behaviors
- Humiliating and degrading
- Discounting, distorting and negating
- Accusing and blaming
- Isolating
- Withholding affection and emotional support
- Withholding financial resources
- Dismissive, disapproving, or contemptuous looks, comments or behavior
- Threatening harm to an individual’s pets, possessions or person
Effects
The effects of emotional abuse are often debilitating the symptoms you may experience
- Depression,
- Confusion,
- Difficulty concentrating and making decisions,
- Overwhelming feelings of worthlessness,
- Hopelessness and
- Poor physical health.
Patterns
Emotional abuse is an ongoing pattern of behavior designed to:
- Control,
- Manipulate and
- Subjugate another that usually occurs behind closed doors.
Example: When you set the table for dinner, your spouse or family member will come into the kitchen, walk around the table and adjust the placement of the silverware, plates and glasses, saying some day you may or will get it right or maybe not ….
Cycles Of Emotional Abuse
Why does one individual abuse another individual?
While the reasons for emotional abuse are complex, most experts believe it is rooted in unresolved childhood trauma. The individual is in as much pain as their victims, only they don’t realize it! It takes a great deal of effort and professional guidance for an abuser to overcome his destructive patterns of behavior.
What does the Bible say?
Nowhere in scripture does God sanction any kind of abuse! 1 Corinthians 13, 4–7 God tells us what love is and what it is not. “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs…It always protects.
In regards to abuse within marriage, some misinterpret Ephesians 5:22 to justify abusive behavior. Scripture reveals that the marriage relationship is to reflect Christ’s relationship with his church — one of sacrificial love. A wife is called to respond to her husband’s biblical headship, not to his destructive and sinful behavior, just as the wife’s mandate is to respect her husband.
God never condones abuse! Can survivors of emotional abuse find help and hope? If you or someone you love is a victim of emotional abuse, there is hope! You can stop the cycle of abuse today by reaching out for help!
You were created to have emotional freedom, inner peace, and strong self-esteem. Emotional abuse has undermined God’s plan for your life, your joy, and your peace. But what others have sabotaged, God can rebuild!” Emotional abuse is rampant in our culture, and Christians are not immune. While all emotionally abusive relationships exact a toll on their victims, this type of domestic abuse within marriage is particularly destructive. The intimate nature of the marriage relationship presents unique challenges.
Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells?
Were you raised in a dysfunctional family? Our childhood experiences may set us up for making poor choices later on in life. You may need help to work through the challenges — as a couple, individually or both.
Victims of Emotional Abuse
Find a safe place to talk and to someone, seek professional guidance each situation must be assessed on an individual level. Is separation from this individual an option?
A time to heal in the life of the abuser. It forces them to face the destructive nature of their behavior and gives them an opportunity to seek help. The ultimate goal of this type of separation is healing — for the victim, the abuser and the marriage.
Seperation
When a woman says, If I stay here much longer, I’m going to hurt myself or he’s going to hurt me, it’s time for them to move into a period of separation,” There are safety factors for individuals or families that need to be considered.” During the separation, the victim, with guidance from a counselor, can begin to set appropriate boundaries and goals for the relationship.
The abuser can also begin to address the issues causing their behavior. When both partners are willing to do the necessary and painful work required for healing, spouses can salvage the relationship.
Sometimes — and despite best efforts — separation and divorce are unavoidable. Other times, couples restore their relationship. It can be a long and difficult journey, but you can find healing — individually and in marriage. “It may seem hopeless at the time, but it’s not. There is a way out, there is hope!
Is getting advice from others the right thing to do? I beg to differ, I know there is only one we should seek advice from. I know its difficult to not go to your peers. But, its important to go to your Father and patiently wait for His still small voice.
Mentality
Do we want to live with a mentally thought process of saying “I should of” or “could of”? This is total misery! If I would have finished my college education. If only I would have listened to my parents.
Our elders have had their fair share of detours. They share things with us because of their life experiences because, they’re trying to save us.
In life we will make many mistakes, these mistakes will cause you to make some you-turns, you may even hit bumps or better yet you may hit some major chuck holes. And, you know what kind of damage this can cause.
Differences
What is the difference between emotional abuse and occasional outbursts of anger?
It’s important to distinguish between emotional abuse and an occasional outburst of anger. Because, everyone has a bad day once in a while and they may respond with a harsh or negative word on occasion.
Attitude
Keep a positive attitude, by saying today is a new day, all things are new in it! AMEN!
Today is a fresh do over or start over! Every new day, is a fresh new start, because we can never say it is tomorrow, because in reality it is today.
We can choose to look and live our life looking in the past (looking in the rear view mirror), which means we won’t be moving forward. We must move forward in life, seeking out what is next.
Don’t run around like your a chicken with your head cut off, because hastiness will cause havoc, I know that all too well too. My father had a nickname for me, he would say slow down ‘Hurricane’! Because, I would never do anything slow!
Why follow directions or instructions? The answer is because we need some sort of direction. Who are we listening to when it comes to others?
If we have no direction, or we choose to not stay on the right path our life may turn out like doorathee from Wizherd of Awhz.
Maybe that is why my life has been what it has been.
