Many people are unaware of their anger and the connection between their past learning and their current behavior. Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility towards others.
- Our learning histories relate to our current anger patterns of behaviors.
Family interactions and issues bring up difficult and painful memories that could trigger anxiety, depression, or relapse toward substance abuse.
- How did you experience anger with your parent when you grew up?
Our parents interactions have strongly influenced our behaviors, thoughts, feelings and our attitudes.
- What is your current behavior and interactions when it comes to others?
- Growing up did you live with both parents? If so did their marriage eventually lead to divorce? Where are there other siblings?
- How was anger expressed by your father and/or mother?
- How was happiness expressed in your family?
- Were you allowed to show your emotions?
- How was sadness expressed?
- Who disciplined in your household? What devices were used? Were you ever asked to stand in the corner? (this was common for me and so was my hair being pulled. I was put on restriction for long unrealistic times. My mom was the disciplinarian).
- Did you have a role for your siblings when it came to arguments starting, or even escalating? What did you do?
- What results came from the fighting?
- Did you tell yourself I’m never going to act like this when I’m in a relationship or when I get married, or when I have a family?
- What behaviors, thoughts, feelings and attitudes carried over into your relationships as of today? What would happen if you started working on these behaviors? Where would you be now in your current relationships?
Strategies For Anger
Strategies you can use to manage your anger are available here.
How Would You Treat A Friend
Think about times when a close friend feels really bad about themself or is really struggling in some way.
How would you respond to your friend when you are at your best? What do you typically do, what do you say,, what tone are you using when you talk to a friend?
Think about times when you feel bad about yourself and when you are struggling. How do you typically respond to yourself in these situations? Write down what you typically do, say, or the tone you say to yourself.
Did you find a difference between you and your friend? If so, ask yourself why? What fears came into play that lead you to treat yourself differently? Why did you tread lightly? What are you afraid to lose? What do you think would change by using the same approach? How things might change if you responded to yourself in the same way you typically respond to a close friend when you’re suffering.
The next time try treating yourself like a good friend and see what happens. Its not okay to beat oneself up over making mistakes! If we aren’t willing to beat another person up, then why are we beating our self up?
Write the names of the people who are the most important to you in order below.
What are the good things about your relationship with each of them you have listed above. What if anything has made this relationship with them more difficult? How would things be different in this relationship if you stopped using a substance? When you think about where you hope to be in 5 years from now are there any relationships in particular that you would like to see repaired?
Teamwork involves thinking of others, not just oneself. Teamwork is the collaborative effort of a group to achieve a common goal or to complete a task in the most effective and efficient way. This concept is seen within the greater framework of a team. A team is a group of interdependent individuals who work together towards a common goal.
Successful teams are those that communicate well with each other, they focus on goals and results. Everyone contributes their fair share and they offer each other support. Team members are diverse and have good leadership with the team. The team is organized which allows them to have fun too.
Tackling obstacles and creating notable work as a team makes each member feel fulfilled. Working toward achieving the companies goals allows the team to feel connected with one another in their team. Along with this comes the loyalty they have with one another and to the team as a whole.
Anger And Our Tongue
The tongue is full of muscles and nerves that enable our bodies to chew, taste and to swallow. It allows us to articulate distinct sounds so we can understand one another. Seldom do we pause and realize how valuable our mouth really is. However the tongue is as volatile as it is vital.
And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set on fire by hell itself. But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.
As long as you live the tongue will never gain control of itself. Have you ever regretted your speech and never your silence?
I said to myself, I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say. I will hold my tongue when the ungodly are around me. But as I stood there in Silence not event speaking of good things the turmoil within me grew worse. The more I thought about it the hotter I go, igniting a fire of words: Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be, Remind me that my days are numbered how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath. We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hop is in you. Rescue me from my rebellion. Do not let fools mock me. I am silent before you; I won’t say a word, for my punishment is from you. But please stop striking me! I am exhausted by the blows from your hand. When you discipline us for our sins, you consume like a moth what is precious to us. Each of us is but a breath. Hear my prayer, O Lord! Listen to my cries for help! Don’t ignore my tears. For I am your guest a traveler passing through, as my ancestors were before me. Leave me alone so I can smile again before I am gone and exist no more.
Think First, Talk Less Especially When It Comes To Anger
Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble. Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.