Self-Compassion During Difficult Times
The self-compassion in us is hard to find when it comes to all that we have suffered in difficult times. Take a few minutes to think about some difficult times.
When was the last time that you; have made a mistake, you have fallen short of a goal, you have become aware of a personality shortcoming, you have become aware of aa particular part of your body that bothers you, when someone has criticized you, when someone has scolded you, when someone has teased you, when someone has mistreated you or when someone has rejected you.
You have faced countless setbacks that are not your fault. There may have even been a time when you got into a heated argument with someone.
How do you typically act toward yourself during your difficult times? How do you treat yourself in a kind way during your difficult times?
During your difficult times you’ve been hard on yourself; you may have been self-critical.
Here are some self-critical old ways and compassionate new ways to apply to your ongoing difficult times.
Self-Compassion How Do You Relate?
We learned that trying to suppress, avoid or get rid of out negative thoughts and feelings actually increases the awareness of the negative thoughts and feelings.
Self-Critical Old Ways / Compassionate New Ways
- You become harsh, judgmental, disapproving and disrespectful ways of talking to yourself.
- I will use self-loving, caring, encourage language instead of being hard on myself.
- I fixate on what’s wrong with myself
- I will remember to do what is right for myself versus being hard on my self.
- I am intolerant of myself
- I acknowledge that I have flaws and weaknesses and I will learn to accept myself for who I am and I will not longer be hard on myself
- I see myself as a problem needed to be fixed.
- I will remain patient and understanding and show my self kindness and understanding for my imperfections. I will focus on being a happier person and I will stop being so hard on myself.
- I have ignored the pain I have suffered
- I acknowledge that there will be pain and I will push pause to allow myself to find comfort in the pain I have suffered and I will no longer be hard on myself.
- I feel like I am the only one ever feeling this way.
- I now know that everyone suffers and struggles with their feelings of inadequacy and I will not longer be hard on myself
- I have always tried to motivate myself with fear and anger.
- I have learned how to motivate myself to be kind to myself and I will no longer be hard on myself.
- I’m hurt by the things I say to myself and when others judge me for my choices.
- I have learned to not worry about things cast out at me and I know God is the only who will judge me and who can judge me. I will no longer be hard on myself.
- I have blamed myself for so much
- I have learned that what I have gone through is what it is and that I no longer blame myself for what has happened.
Consult your Soul
Learning to reverse our behavior is important for us to feel tender inside again. What kind of feelings you feel during difficult times is like calming feelings running through your veins. It’s learning how to love yourself like you love another.
You may now respond to yourself with kindness, you learn how to console your soul. I acknowledge that my thoughts are just thoughts passing through. Feeling sensations in my body again, I respond versus react. I have detached myself from the ‘ difficult thing’ I’m allowing it to float on by.
We do not ignore or avoid our pain and that is because we must be aware of the pain in order to heal or lessen the pain.
- I acknowledge that I am vulnerable,
- I make mistakes and I that
- I have shortcomings and pain will happen as I grow and learn that I do matter and everyone goes through some form of pain.
- I will respond inwardly with kindness and patience when it comes to my pain.
- I embrace the pain as pain.
Our Self-Critical Thoughts
The thoughts are running rapidly through our minds can be stopped by acknowledging that they are only thoughts and that they are passing on by. They hold no weight, they have no substantial substance at this time. I choose to not be obsessed any longer.
Unconditional love has many meanings. Self-compassion is closely related to unconditional love and empathy. Empathy embraces and self-compassion is soothing. Read this list over and over again until you honestly believe them to be true of you.
- You are good
- You are worthy
- .You are loved
- I don’t need to seek approval
- I don’t need to live up to others expectations
- I am safe
- I feel peace
- I’m kind and loving to myself
- Acknowledge and accept all your positive qualities
- Appreciate you for who you are right now
- View yourself through your loving eyes
- I accept who I am
Remember that love is learned and acquired through lots of practice. Learn how to cultivate love for oneself. It’s an attitude of wanting what is best for oneself and a decision that is made on a daily basis.
Self-Compassion Through Our Pain
This is difficult because we all suffer and I will hold my pain with care.
This is really hard right now I know suffering is part of being human and I will be as kind as possible to myself.
It hurts to feel this right now, I know every person suffers and I will become more understanding.
Yes, there is pain, it is normal to feel this way right now and I’m sorry that I am in pain.
This is rough and I’m in need of care right now, many have experienced what I am going through at this very moment. This pain is worthy of my time, I will find compassion and comfort in the pain I’m experiencing through soothing it and I am worth it