Lost, Discarded, Unwanted Do You Understand What It Feels Like?

Locating The Lost

It was a crazy, fun, and exhilarating night when it came to locating the lost. What an amazing night last night… we were sprinkled on, while other areas received a downpour of rain. The rain didn’t stop what we were doing, we fed the lost, unwanted, used, and abused.


Walking the Streets

We walked the streets passing out carnations and sweet treats to the girls that are being trafficked. Linda passed out bibles to the men and women. While Britani prayed over these precious children. Jennie graced them with her energy and she even gave her jacket to a lady that had only a t-shirt.

Thank you Jesus for these opportunities I have experienced.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:12

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. John 15:13–14

Lay Down Your Life

In your life right now where would a situation call for you to lay down your life for another?

We are all called to leave our worldly desires behind and work in the name of Jesus, with the sick, the poor, the orphans and the widows. All these people need our help.

It’s really hard to think back in time and remember or does that even matter when it comes to being lost too? The what, why, where, and how it all came to be or does that even matter when it comes to being lost?

During the next couple of years, I thought I was getting stronger by going through it with my friends and acquaintances. But, in reality these friends were not getting me through it, they gave me the tools to remain numb, they influenced me the way they kept themselves numb.

We must fight for what is right, the right way though.

Caring For Others

I have the spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by overseeing, training and caring for the needs of others. And that was and it still is to present the whole Word of God.

We must be more concerned with doing for others than others doing for us.

Protective Of Others

My pleasing personality draws people to me with a burden to see others learn and grow and are protective of those under my care.

Wanting to protect girls from being trafficked led me to working on and off the streets with the girls who are trafficked. Prior to doing this kind of work I had obtained some extensive training in regards to gangs. I’ve gone into the Sacramento Juvenile Hall to teach in a group setting including having a private setting one on one with the girls.

I decided to become a correctional officer and passed rigorous tests to end up not going that direction for many reasons which make even more sense now.


Why did I ever come forth from the womb to look on trouble and sorry, so that my days have been spent in shame? Who hasn’t wrestled with similar questions and doubts? Few express it more vividly a dark tunnel of suffering when the pain won’t go away. Our words go unuttered and hidden away in the secret vaults of our minds. God’s silence can leave us questioning his love for us, and why He permits certain things to occur that seemingly defy His character.

Then a surge of hope comes from God giving me the confidence I need. A renewed sense of determination swelled up within me. I dare to take on another painful task.

I Lost Myself Along The Way

Then, me making a big mistake, I lost myself, and my sanity, and all while my well-being got worse and this included my mental health when I decided to go to work for The Salvation Army. My first supervisor Joye was an officer’s child. There is favoritism and protection when it comes to being an officer’s family member

Needless to say, I won multiple lawsuits against The Salvation Army because they continually put my life in danger, working me 15–19 hours a day and threatening me with insubordination when I refused to work the seventh day of the week. You guess what day that is.

This non-profit and its officers choose not to follow employment laws i.e. Osha, DOT, Industrial Affairs, etc. The Worker Comp Judge found the employer at fault, praise God! I spent countless hours defending myself and proving mistreatment on many levels.

I’ve sought out counseling because I suffered so much working for them. This included panic attacks then to having a nervous breakdown while I was driving the company vehicle. Anxiety and depression set in.

I’ve since learned so much when it comes to being an employee; my rights and my well-being should take priority.


Reassurance has returned with a fresh breeze of hop in the pits the disillusionment must go and become a thing of the past.

Don’t bother your head with braggarts or wish you could succeed like the wicked. In no time they’ll shrivel like grass clippings and wilt like cut flowers in the sun. Get insurance with God and do a good deed, settle down and stick to your last. Keep company with God, get in on the best. Open up before God, keep nothing back; he’ll do whatever needs to be done: He’ll validate your life in the clear light of day and stamp you with approval at high noon. Quiet down before God, be prayerful before him. Don’t bother with those who climb the ladder, who elbow their way to the top. Bridle your anger, trash your wrath, cool your pipes – it only makes things worse. Before long the crooks will be bankrupt; God-investors will soon own the store. Before you know it, the wicked will have had it; you’ll stare at his once famous place and – nothing! Down-to-earth people will move in and take over, relishing a huge bonanza. Bad guys have it in for the good guys, obsessed with doing them in. But God isn’t losing any sleep; to him they’re a joke with no punch line.

‘Dear God, my Master, you created earth and sky by your great power – by merely stretching out your arm! There is nothing you can’t do. You’re loyal in your steadfast love to thousands upon thousands – but you also make children live with the fallout from their parent’s sins. Great and powerful God, named God-of-the-Angel-Armies, determined in purpose and relentless in following through, you see everything that men and women do and respond appropriately to the way they live, to the things they do. “‘You performed signs and wonders in the country of Egypt and continue to do so right into the present, right here in Israel and everywhere else, too. You’ve made a reputation for yourself that doesn’t diminish. You brought your people Israel out of Egypt with signs and wonders – a powerful deliverance! – by merely stretching out your arm. You gave them this land and solemnly promised their ancestors a bountiful and fertile land. But when they entered the land and took it over, they didn’t listen to you. They didn’t do what you commanded. They wouldn’t listen to a thing you told them. And so you brought this disaster on them. ‘Oh, look at the siege ramps already set in place to take the city. Killing and starvation and disease are on our doorstep. The Babylonians are attacking! The Word you spoke is coming to pass – it’s daily news! And yet you, God, the Master, even though it is certain that the city will be turned over to the Babylonians, also told me, Buy the field. Pay for it in cash. And make sure there are witnesses.'” Then God’s Message came again to Jeremiah: “Stay alert! I am God, the God of everything living. Is there anything I can’t do? So listen to God’s Message: No doubt about it, I’m handing this city over to the Babylonians and Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon. He’ll take it. The attacking Chaldeans will break through and burn the city down: All those houses whose roofs were used as altars for offerings to Baal and the worship of who knows how many other gods provoked me. It isn’t as if this were the first time they had provoked me. The people of Israel and Judah have been doing this for a long time – doing what I hate, making me angry by the way they live.” God’s Decree. “This city has made me angry from the day they built it, and now I’ve had my fill. I’m destroying it. I can’t stand to look any longer at the wicked lives of the people of Israel and Judah, deliberately making me angry, the whole lot of them – kings and leaders and priests and preachers, in the country and the city. They’ve turned their backs on me – won’t even look me in the face! – even though I took great pains to teach them how to live. They refused to listen, refused to be taught. Why, they even set up obscene god and goddess statues in the Temple built in my honor – an outrageous desecration! And then they went out and built shrines to the god Baal in the valley of Hinnom, where they burned their children in sacrifice to the god Molech – I can hardly conceive of such evil! – turning the whole country into one huge act of sin. “But there is also this Message from me, the God of Israel, to this city of which you have said, ‘In killing and starvation and disease this city will be delivered up to the king of Babylon’: “‘Watch for this! I will collect them from all the countries to which I will have driven them in my anger and rage and indignation. Yes, I’ll bring them all back to this place and let them live here in peace. They will be my people, I will be their God. I’ll make them of one mind and heart, always honoring me, so that they can live good and whole lives, they and their children after them. What’s more, I’ll make a covenant with them that will last forever, a covenant to stick with them no matter what, and work for their good. I’ll fill their hearts with a deep respect for me so they’ll not even think of turning away from me. “‘Oh how I’ll rejoice in them! Oh, how I’ll delight in doing good things for them! Heart and soul, I’ll plant them in this country and keep them here!’ “Yes, this is God’s Message: ‘I will certainly bring this huge catastrophe on this people, but I will also usher in a wonderful life of prosperity. I promise.

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all – oh, how well I remember – the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.

I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”

Counseling The Lost

In 2021 I decided to become a substance abuse counselor to help people with their addictions.

I’ve seen parents lose their infants, children, and family members because of their additions. I worked in a 24-hour facility. I taught clients in a group setting and I worked one on one with clients. I worked with women and men at two different facilities.

I’ve seen people at their rock bottom, and I’ve seen family reunification take place. I’ve seen clients in fear when it came to the sheriff’s department’s surprise visits because some of the clients are running from the law, some were on probation and some had upcoming court dates.

I’ve driven clients to various appointments. I’ve heard so many of their stories that would make your skin crawl.

I’ve since decided to blog about all the ongoing trials, tribulations, lessons, and victories achieved. I too have experienced so much when it comes to heartache. I consider myself damaged goods and I know that damaged goods still have a purpose. Only God knows what is next! My mission is to see others learn and grow.

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