Focus on building supportive relationships versus fixing people.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the day approaching.
So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.
Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.
So clean house! Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy and hurtful talk. You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants at the breast, drink deep of God’s pure kindness. Then you’ll grow up mature and whole in God.
The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, so, no more drinking from death-tainted wells!
Advisers To Help Us Focus
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed. Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed.
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither whatever they do prospers.
How well God must like you you don’t walk in the ruts of those blind-as-bats, you don’t stand with the good-for-nothings, you don’t take your seat among the know-it-alls.
Instead you thrill to God’s Word, you chew on Scripture day and night. You’re a tree replanted in Eden, bearing fresh fruit every month, Never dropping a leaf, always in blossom.
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
But don’t let it faze you. Stick with what you learned and believed, sure of the integrity of your teachers why, you took in the sacred Scriptures with your mother’s milk! There’s nothing like the written Word of God for showing you the way to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful in one way or another—showing us the truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, and training us to live God’s way. Through the Word, we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.
Instruction Of Our Focus
For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one can resist God’s Word. We can’t get away from it—no matter what.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
Let me give you some good advice; I’m looking you in the eye and giving it to you straight:
Helper Of Our Focus
Jesus said: “And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever — the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.
“If you love me, show it by doing what I’ve told you. I will talk to the Father, and he’ll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can’t take him in because it doesn’t have eyes to see him, doesn’t know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!
“I’m telling you these things while I’m still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you. Peace. I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught.
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.
These are normal post-incident stress symptoms and how to cope with them. Some of the stress symptoms that individuals may experience after traumatic incidents are listed below. These symptoms can be physical, cognitive, emotional, or behavioral. They are best seen as normal reactions to unusual circumstances.
Post-Incident Stress Symptoms
Having symptoms of stress means your mind and body are going through some adjustments or trying to recover normal responses.
80-85% of those individuals exposed to critical incidents will show a noticeable symptom within 24 hours.
50% of those above may be affected after three or more weeks. Symptoms will be more marked in relationship to the severity of the incident. Additionally, some studies indicate that
87% of the individuals who are provided immediate intervention through critical post-incident stress debriefing and peer support will not need long term counseling.
The signs and symptoms may last a few days, weeks or months, based on the severity of the traumatic event. With understanding and support from peers, management and loved ones, the reactions usually pass more quickly. Occasionally, professional assistance from a counselor may be necessary. This does not mean the individual is weak, but indicates this person will need additional support.
TENSION: Physical and emotional tension, being excessively hyper, unable to relax or sit still for very long, muscle tremors or twitches.
NAUSEA, VOMITING OR OTHER GASTROINTESTINAL UPSET: Especially during or immediately after the incident.
BODY TEMPERATURE REGULATION: Profuse sweating or chills at unusual times.
SLEEP DISTURBANCES: Either the inability to fall asleep, disruptive dreams or nightmares or waking up earlier than usual.
FATIGUE: Always tired. No pep or energy.
INTRUSIVE THOUGHT AND MEMORIES: Thinking about the incident or some recurring memory associated with the incident when you don’t want to.
NEGATIVE FEELINGS/CRYING: Unpleasant feeling that may come without warning, such a profound sadness, helplessness, fear, anxiety, anger, rage, discouragement, frustration or depression.
A FEELING OF VULNERABILITY OR LACK OF CONTROL: Feeling exposed to threat, not in control of one’s life anymore or paranoia.
INTERPERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH ALCOHOL OR DRUGS: “Self-medication” can be a symptom of post-incident stress.
COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR: Increased problems such as compulsive eating or other compulsive behaviors.
A VAGUE FEELING OF SELF-BLAME: Usually this fixes on some particular aspect of the incident. A sense of having lost self-value or diminished self-esteem. “I could have done this or should have done that.”
The following are some procedures that may help you successfully cope with stress. Some may work for you while others may not. Use these procedures on a trial basis. Stick with the ones that seem to work best for you.
EXPRESSING FEELINGS: Share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust, even though it may be painful to do so. Make sure the other person understands you’re not asking for a solution to your feelings, just an opportunity to express how you feel.
FACING THE PAIN: Painful and fearful thought or memories come back when you don’t want them to. That’s normal, but our first reaction is to keep this from happening. If we allow the thoughts or memories to come back, we can release some of the tension that is making them occur. You can even say to yourself, “Okay that’s enough!” Gradually you will gain more control over these intrusive thoughts and feelings. Once you learn to deal with them, they will eventually subside.
DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES: Nightmares are a very common reaction to post-incident stress. These symptoms are necessary to regain emotional balance and they usually disappear after a couple of weeks. Although dreams and nightmares can never be controlled completely, some people have learned to diminish them using various techniques, deliberately thinking about the trauma before they go to sleep and then saying to themselves, “Okay, that’s enough, I’m going to dream about something else.” If you are having trouble sleeping, try reading or watching television. Insomnia will probably resolve in a few days.
RECOGNIZING SELF-BLAME AND SURVISOR’S GUILT: It is normal to feel some blame just for surviving a traumatic incident, especially if other people were killed or severely injured. Recognize this for what it is: an irrational thought. It is okay to have survived.
CHANGING THE MEMORY: Remember that what is upsetting you after a traumatic incident is not the incident itself, but your memory of it. If it is a memory, you can change what you recall. If some particularly upsetting scene keeps coming back to you, try substituting some other memory of the incident that has less painful emotions associated with it.
EXERCISE: Strenuous exercise afterward is very useful, especially if you’re already in good physical shape. However, don’t over do it and cause more harm than good.
GETTING BACK TO WORK: Get back to work when it is realistic, but accept the jitters that you might feel with the reminders of the incident. These are normal and will go away with time.
DECREASE ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION: Many people feel a “drink” eases tension. However, alcohol is actually not useful to the body in coping with post-incident stress.
ACCEPT ENJOYMENT AND DIVERSION: Even if the incident was a serious one. Or consequences occurred due to the actions of others. It is okay to enjoy yourself and forget the incident. There may be a time later that you need to recall what happened. Caring is fine but constant worrying serves no true purpose. Be kind to yourself, go to a movie, get involved in an activity you enjoy, etc.
IF NECESSARY, SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP: Sometimes post-incident stress is so severe that professional help is necessary for working through it. This is the smart thing to do; it is not a sign of weakness. It takes a lot of courage to work with a professional, to face your own pain and fear. Be proud of yourself and not apologetic.
DON’T EXPECT MIRACLE CURES: Working through post-incident stress takes a long time and it is never really finished. Try to accept this and in time you can put things in proper perspective. What has happened is over and you cannot change it. You can learn from what happened and gain inner strength as time passes.
THE BOTTOM LINE: The bottom line in dealing with traumatic stress is to face it. If it can be face squarely and dealt with in a constructive way, that is half the battle. THINK POSITIVE.
After an endless barrage of criticism, misunderstanding, ugly and false rumors, and deep periods of depression you are locked up and locked in this cell of massive confusion. Asking yourself continually, how did I get here? Despised by multitudes coming at you…
Unfair and underserved abuses
Loneliness and loss
Agony beyond comprehension
Suffered beyond steel
We treat these intruders as enemies, not friends. Those who are worth following have paid their dues. they have come through the furnace melted, beaten, reshaped, and tempered.
Understand that you don’t deserve the right to lead without first persevering through this pain, heartache and failure.
Quite frankly, I don’t want to be bothered anymore by these disputes. I have far more important things to do – the serious living of this faith. I bear in my body scars from my service to Jesus.
When his master heard his wife’s story, telling him, “These are the things your slave did to me,” he was furious. Joseph’s master took him and threw him into the jail where the king’s prisoners were locked up. But there in jail God was still with Joseph: He reached out in kindness to him; he put him on good terms with the head jailer.
Joseph had two sons born to him before the years of famine came. Asenath, daughter of Potiphera the priest of On, was their mother. Joseph named the firstborn Manasseh (Forget), saying, “God made me forget all my hardships and my parental home.” He named his second son Ephraim (Double Prosperity), saying, “God has prospered me in the land of my sorrow.”
“Come closer to me,” Joseph said to his brothers. They came closer. “I am Joseph your brother whom you sold into Egypt. But don’t feel bad, don’t blame yourselves for selling me. God was behind it. God sent me here ahead of you to save lives. There has been a famine in the land now for two years; the famine will continue for five more years – neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me on ahead to pave the way and make sure there was a remnant in the land, to save your lives in an amazing act of deliverance. So you see, it wasn’t you who sent me here but God. He set me in place as a father to Pharaoh, put me in charge of his personal affairs, and made me ruler of all Egypt.
Pride first, then the crash, but humility is precursor to honor.
What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven – and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all – life healed and whole. I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don’t see him, yet you trust him – with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you’ll get what you’re looking forward to: total salvation.
Thank God for these trials produced in you. Write down painful times from your life which have contributed towards who you are today.
Misunderstanding Our Perspective
Our perspective is the way we view something. Seeing life through perspective lenses has the capacity to see things in their true relations or relative importance.
So much of your life depends on where you are coming from as you face your circumstances.
Distinguishes the incidental from the essential.
The temporary from the eternal.
The partial from the whole.
Try to examine your inner you. Lift yourself above the smothering details of today’s tangled thicket and breath the crisp, fresh air that surrounds the clear view high up.
It’s not very new, nor very profound, but few would debate its truth. Your life is short like yesterday when it passes by with so much uncertainty.
Life Is Challenging When It Comes To Our Misunderstanding
Abundant with challenges, brimming with possibilities, spilling over with opportunities to adapt, shift, alter and change. This is a path that leads to optimism and motivation.
“And you, Solomon my son, get to know well your father’s God; serve him with a whole heart and eager mind, for God examines every heart and sees through every motive. If you seek him, he’ll make sure you find him, but if you abandon him, he’ll leave you for good. Look sharp now! God has chosen you to build his holy house. Be brave, determined! And do it!” Then David presented his son Solomon with the plans for The Temple complex: porch, storerooms, meeting rooms, and the place for atoning sacrifice. He turned over the plans for everything that God’s Spirit had brought to his mind: the design of the courtyards, the arrangements of rooms, and the closets for storing all the holy things. He gave him his plan for organizing the Levites and priests in their work of leading and ordering worship in the house of God, and for caring for the liturgical furnishings. He provided exact specifications for how much gold and silver was needed for each article used in the services of worship: the gold and silver Lampstands and lamps, the gold tables for consecrated bread, the silver tables, the gold forks, the bowls and the jars, and the incense altar. And he gave him the plan for sculpting the cherubs with their wings outstretched over the Chest of the Covenant of God – the cherubim throne. “Here are the blueprints for the whole project as God gave me to understand it,” David said. David continued to address Solomon: “Take charge! Take heart! Don’t be anxious or get discouraged. God, my God, is with you in this; he won’t walk off and leave you in the lurch. He’s at your side until every last detail is completed for conducting the worship of God.
He continued this subject with his disciples. “Don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or if the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your inner life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the ravens, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, carefree in the care of God. And you count far more. “Has anyone by fussing before the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? If fussing can’t even do that, why fuss at all? Walk into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They don’t fuss with their appearance – but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? “What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself. “Be generous. Give to the poor. Get yourselves a bank that can’t go bankrupt, a bank in heaven far from bankrobbers, safe from embezzlers, a bank you can bank on. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.
Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity.
People should be our most cherished resource. Just like Jesus was to all.
He Reached Out
He Affirmed and Encouraged
He stayed in Touch
He Walked With People
Loners who care only for themselves spit on the common good.
Then Jesus went again to walk alongside the lake. Again a crowd came to him, and he taught them. Strolling along, he saw Levi, son of Alphaeus, at his work collecting taxes. Jesus said, “Come along with me.” He came. Later Jesus and his disciples were at home having supper with a collection of disreputable guests. Unlikely as it seems, more than a few of them had become followers. The religion scholars and Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company and lit into his disciples: “What kind of example is this, acting cozy with the riff-raff?” Jesus, overhearing, shot back, “Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? I’m here inviting the sin-sick, not the spiritually-fit.”
Then he turned to the host. “The next time you put on a dinner, don’t just invite your friends and family and rich neighbors, the kind of people who will return the favor.Invite some people who never get invited out, the misfits from the wrong side of the tracks. You’ll be – and experience – a blessing. They won’t be able to return the favor, but the favor will be returned – oh, how it will be returned! – at the resurrection of God’s people.” That triggered a response from one of the guests: “How fortunate the one who gets to eat dinner in God’s kingdom!” Jesus followed up. “Yes. For there was once a man who threw a great dinner party and invited many. When it was time for dinner, he sent out his servant to the invited guests, saying, ‘Come on in; the food’s on the table.’ “Then they all began to beg off, one after another making excuses. The first said, ‘I bought a piece of property and need to look it over. Send my regrets.’ “Another said, ‘I just bought five teams of oxen, and I really need to check them out. Send my regrets.’ “And yet another said, ‘I just got married and need to get home to my wife.’ “The servant went back and told the master what had happened. He was outraged and told the servant, ‘Quickly, get out into the city streets and alleys. Collect all who look like they need a square meal, all the misfits and homeless and wretched you can lay your hands on, and bring them here.’ “The servant reported back, ‘Master, I did what you commanded – and there’s still room.’ “The master said, ‘Then go to the country roads. Whoever you find, drag them in. I want my house full!
They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers. Everyone around was in awe – all those wonders and signs done through the apostles! And all the believers lived in a wonderful harmony, holding everything in common. They sold whatever they owned and pooled their resources so that each person’s need was met. They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved.
During this time, as the disciples were increasing in numbers by leaps and bounds, hard feelings developed among the Greek-speaking believers – “Hellenists” – toward the Hebrew-speaking believers because their widows were being discriminated against in the daily food lines. So the Twelve called a meeting of the disciples. They said, “It wouldn’t be right for us to abandon our responsibilities for preaching and teaching the Word of God to help with the care of the poor. So, friends, choose seven men from among you whom everyone trusts, men full of the Holy Spirit and good sense, and we’ll assign them this task. Meanwhile, we’ll stick to our assigned tasks of prayer and speaking God’s Word.”
Let us celebrate, let us rejoice, let us give him the glory! The Marriage of the Lamb has come; his Wife has made herself ready. She was given a bridal gown of bright and shining linen. The linen is the righteousness of the saints. The Angel said to me, “Write this: ‘Blessed are those invited to the Wedding Supper of the Lamb.'” He added, “These are the true words of God!”
I’m either your hero or your enemy today, depending on how you handled this bit of information.
Our Mission To Help With Isolation
Sitting and Reminiscing
Get Involved somehow, some way
The Good Ole’ Days
Look back on the holidays where everyone gathered together before isolation.
Allow those times to weave their way back into the fabric of your mind.
It’s a time where we reflect.
Study the scene created by another who cared deeply enough about another.
Thoughtfully, silently, sit alone at a length of time without interruptions of your routine tasks.
Take inthe time to stop, listen and think.
What thoughts emerge, as your thoughts drift off and you linger in these memorable meaningful times? Was it music playing, people’s voices, noises of laughter, odors radiating from the oven, games being played sitting around a table, find what mattered to you most and provide it for another.
“But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God. They’re like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers – Never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf, Serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season.
I eat my fill of prime rib and gravy; I smack my lips. It’s time to shout praises! If I’m sleepless at midnight, I spend the hours in grateful reflection.
If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care – then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death – and the worst kind of death at that: a crucifixion. Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth – even those long ago dead and buried – will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.
Give sacrificially today to someone else, but don’t tell anyone what you did.
Learning how to have compassion for ourselves in the heat of the moment can be difficult for most of us. We can all think of a situation in our life that is difficult and it is causing us stress.
Attempt to remember the most recent situation and see if you can feel the pressure and the emotional discomfort that is coming about in your body.
Acknowledge that this is a moment of suffering; it hurts, and this discomfort is part of life.
Be mindful of what hurts now slowly place your hand on your chest over your heart.
Console yourself by asking yourself what do I need to hear right now?
Get It All Out
Everyone has something about themselves that they do not like; something that is causing them to feel shame, embarrassment, and insecurity. It may be that you don’t feel good about yourself. Our imperfect feelings, failures, and choices we have made are part of our life.
Try writing about an issue you have that seems to be reoccurring, you keep rehashing in your mind.
What emotions come up for you when you think about discussing it?
A Compassionate Friend
If you can’t get the emotions to come out. Then, I recommend writing about the issue to a loving and imaginary friend. This friend of yours is present all of the time. This friend understands the limits of human nature and they are kind and they bring you comfort to you no matter what time of the day or night it is.
This friends great wisdom helps you greatly because they know your life history and all that has happened in your life. No matter how much you try to push this friend away, they never leave you. You may even blame them for not stopping something from happening to you.
Know that things were outside your control. We need to focus on the perceived inadequacy we tend to judge ourselves for.
What would this friend say to you about your situation/issue from the perspective of them having unlimited compassion for you?
How would this friend convey the deep compassion they feel for you over this painful situation/issue?
What would this friend write about to remind you that you are only human and that you have the strength to overcome this situation/issue?
Accept this friend’s unconditional love and feel their presence, their kindness, and know that this friend does care and desires that you find happiness.
Feel the compassion this friend has for you. They are there to soothe and comfort you.
Touch helps soothe us, it relaxes us, it activates the care system and the parasympathetic nervous system to help us calm down and to feel safe. This may feel awkward at first but your body doesn’t know that you feel awkward. Our body just responds to the physical gesture of warmth and the care it provides as if you are holding an infant in your arms. The skin is an incredibly sensitive organ that releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is a love hormone and it provides a sense of security, it soothes distressing emotions and calms cardiovascular stress.
Compassion For Yourself
Notice the stressor.
Take 2-3 deep and satisfying breaths.
Place your hand over your heart.
Feel the gentle pressure of your hand on your heart.
Take in the natural rising and the falling of your chest as you inhale and exhale slowly.
Soak up these feelings for as long as you like.
Gently tickling your arms is another way to bring down the stress you are experiencing.
Hopefully, you’ll start developing new ways to bring calmness to yourself. Take full advantage of the tools that are available for us these days; free apps, classes, groups, etc.
Write In A Journal To Help Find Compassion For Yourself
It’s a useful way to work on your inner critic. It’s an internal dialogue. Write it out to read it later if you so choose to. This can lead to some major transformations.
Whether you are feeling bad about something, think about what you’ve just said to yourself. Are there common words you use when you are expressing something about yourself? What phrases come up over and over again? Is there a tone you maintain? Who are you mimicking? What pain keeps on recurring?
Cause and Affect = Results
Journaling is an effective way to express your emotions and this will help your well-being. Daily events are great things to write down and evaluate in your quiet times. Write down what you felt bad about, that you judged yourself with, or any other difficult experience that has caused you pain. Where you have become impatient with, reacted to a person in a certain way. What made you feel ashamed? Were there any embarrassing moments?
Use mindfulness and learn to have more self-compassion for yourself. Mindfulness is bringing awareness to the painful emotions that cross your mind and are derived from self-judgment.
Write down how you feel; sad, ashamed, frightened, stressed, angry.
Acknowledge it happened and let it go.
Accept that you have overreacted.
What do you criticize yourself about?
What do others criticize you about?
Who has criticized you in the past?
The definition of dialogue is to take part in a conversation or discussion to resolve a problem. Take ownership that this criticism no longer has control over you. It’s your life and you choose to not be controlled by another’s criticism, their issues are not your issues! It’s time to move on.
Meet your own needs head on. Recognize that this will enhance the quality of your life This will also allow you to be there for those that rely on you.
We must learn new ways to cope with our unhealthy stress. I will share various causes of unhealthy stress and ways to cope with stress.
Are you frequently overwhelmed by all you have to do?
Do you often experience feelings of stress, guilt, fatigue, frustration, and anger because of the burdens you face in life?
If so, you’re not living the abundant life that God intends for you to live. God wants you to be emotionally healthy and able to live with peace and joy, no matter what circumstances you may go through.
You can enjoy that kind of life if you quit doing things that damage your soul and sabotage your ability to enjoy good emotional health. Here’s how you can change your life to be emotionally healthy:
Don’t compare yourself to others. You are unique and can do a limited number of things well.
Release yourself from the pressure of trying to please other people and focus solely on pleasing God. God’s opinion of you is the only one that ultimately matters. You have inherent worth because God has made you in His image, and you don’t need to try to earn God’s approval if you place your trust in Jesus, because Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for your sins is enough for you to be set right with God.
Take a few days to pay attention to how you may be trying to use words and actions to gain approval from other people. Then pray about what you notice, asking God to empower you to change those unhealthy habits and give you the confidence to simply be yourself when interacting with people. Read Bible verses that describe God’s love for you, and reflect on them often. Choose to base your identity on God’s love for you rather than on what others think of you.
Even if you don’t deliberately lie, you may be lying to God, yourself, or other people without realizing it if you’re not careful to live with complete emotional honesty. Do you find yourself avoiding commenting on something when telling the truth would be awkward or painful? God wants you to feel free to always speak the truth in love and the degree to which you speak the truth is the degree to which you are free.
Ask God to give you the strength to live with emotional integrity in every situation from now on. Expect conflict to occur in your relationships after you change the dynamics of them by being honest about your views. But trust that God will help you through it well if you proceed respectfully and at the right timing while avoiding blame and taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings.
While God does want you to die to sinful things that harm your soul, He doesn’t want you to deprive yourself of gifts He makes available to you to nurture your soul. So don’t deny yourself healthy pleasures, such as taking walks outdoors, getting together with friends for a meal or concert, or pursuing a hobby you enjoy.
Keep in mind that you must care well for yourself before you can care well for other people God wants you to serve (such as your spouse and children).
Accept the reality that you have emotional, mental, and physical limits to what you can do without becoming overly stressed and realize that those limits are gifts from God, meant to help you make wise, healthy choices.
Discover yourself by getting to know your heart (your thoughts, feelings, and values), your story (how your past has influenced the way you think and behave now), and your personality. Once you learn more about yourself, use that information to care for yourself well from now on.
Embrace the full range of your emotions including difficult feelings like anger, sadness, and fear so that you can learn what God wants you to learn from them. Instead of denying or suppressing your emotions, decide to feel them fully, so you can explore them. Consider recording your feelings in a journal to help you identify your emotions and reflect on them.
Ask God to help you discern the specific reasons why you’re feeling the way you are. Then take appropriate action, responding to the information your feelings give you, however, God leads you to do so.
Sometimes traumatic stress is so severe that professional help is necessary for working through it. This is the smart thing to do; it is not a sign of weakness. It takes a lot of courage to work with a professional, to face your pain and fear. Be proud of yourself and not apologetic.
Working through post-traumatic stress takes a long time and it is never really finished. Try to accept this and in time you can put things in proper perspective. What has happened is over and you cannot change it. You can learn from what happened and gain inner strength as time passes.
The bottom line in dealing with traumatic stress is to face it. If it can be faced squarely and dealt with constructively, that is half the battle. THINK POSITIVE
Cope With Unhealthy Stress
Our busyness can lead to unhealthy stress. That means we must learn to prioritize our commitments going forward. Learn to categorize your commitments by what you have to do compared to what you would like to do.
Be selective when committing to do something by a particular time frame, life happens.
Start your conversation by saying ‘at this time I will not be able to commit to ” ” I will let you know if that changes.
Too much stress can make falling or staying asleep difficult.
When we were teenagers we needed about 10-12 hours of sleep a night and that was because our bodies were growing and maturing rapidly. As adults, we may only need 8 hours of sleep each night.
If falling or staying asleep describes what you are experiencing, I suggest that you speak with a healthcare provider to learn new ways that will help you overcome your exhaustion.
Finding safe people to talk to and share your experiences with can be helpful. We must understand that most people are feeling the same peer pressures.
Journaling your thoughts and feelings can also be therapeutic.
Know that good nutrition helps alleviate your stress because you feel better and you will have more energy.
Let’s be honest with ourselves that all the not good for me food tastes good and it seems to be cheap and convenient for us to obtain.
Have you ever looked at the ingredients you are consuming?
Regular exercise is a proven to be a great stress reducer and it will physically benefit your body for the long haul. Exercise relieves tension, helps you relax and will even help you sleep better that is if you don’t exercise right before bed time.
Work hard to do your best for yourself and learn to be realistic about what you can and cannot accomplish. Attempting to be perfect creates stress and may even destroy you and your relationships. Do what works for you.
Having symptoms of stress means your mind and body are going through some adjustments or trying to recover normal responses.
Symptoms we may experience can be physical, cognitive, emotional, or behavioral. They are best seen as normal reactions to unusual circumstances.
Physical and emotional tension, being excessively hyper, unable to relax or sit still for very long, muscle tremors or twitches.
Nausea and throwing up may occur especially during or immediately after an incident.
Profuse sweating or chills at unusual times.
Either the inability to fall asleep, disruptive dreams or nightmares or waking up earlier than usual.
Always tired. No pep or energy.
Individuals who are provided immediate intervention through critical incident stress debriefing and peer support will not need long term counseling.
Events We Need To Cope With
The signs and symptoms may last a few days, weeks, or months, based on the severity of the traumatic event.
Thinking about the incident or some recurring memory associated with the incident when you don’t want to.
The unpleasant feelings that may come without warning, such as profound sadness, helplessness, fear, anxiety, anger, rage, discouragement, frustration, or depression.
Feeling exposed to a threat, not in control of one’s life anymore, or paranoia. A feeling of vulnerability.
Increased irritability, insensitivity, blaming others, wanting distance instead of closeness.
Using a substance “self-medication” can be a symptom of stress.
Increased problems such as compulsive eating or other compulsive behaviors.
Self-blame with some particular aspect of the incident. “I could have done this or should have done that.”
With understanding and support from peers, management, and loved ones, the reactions usually pass more quickly.
Occasionally, professional assistance from a counselor may be necessary. This does not mean the individual is weak but indicates this person will need additional support.
Strategies To Cope
The following are some procedures that have been used successfully to cope with stress. Some may work for you while others may not. Stick with the ones that seem to work best for you.
Make sure the other person understands you’re not asking for a solution to your feelings, just an opportunity to express how you feel. Share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust, even though it may be painful to do so.
If we allow the thoughts or memories to come back, we can release some of the tension that is making them occur. Painful and fearful thoughts or memories come back when you don’t want them to. That’s normal, but our first reaction is to keep this from happening. You can even say to yourself, “Okay that’s enough!”
Gradually you will gain more control over these intrusive thoughts and feelings. Once you learn to deal with them, they will eventually subside.
If you are having trouble sleeping, try reading or watching television. Nightmares are a very common reaction to traumatic stress. These symptoms are necessary to regain emotional balance and they usually disappear after a couple of weeks.
A Way To Cope
Although they can never be controlled completely, some people have learned to diminish nightmares by deliberately thinking about the trauma sometimes before they go to sleep and then saying to themselves, “Okay, that’s enough, I’m going to dream about something else.”
It is normal to feel some blame just for surviving a traumatic incident, especially if other people were killed or severely injured. Recognize this for what it is: an irrational thought. It is okay to have survived.
Remember that what is upsetting you after a traumatic incident is not the incident itself, but your memory of it. If it is a memory, you can change what you recall.
If some particularly upsetting scene keeps coming back to you, try substituting some other memory of the incident that has less painful emotions associated with it.
To Cope Better
Strenuous exercise afterward is very useful, especially if you’re already in good physical shape. However, don’t overdo it and cause more harm than good.
Get back to work when it is realistic, but accept the jitters that you might feel with the reminders of the incident. These are normal and will go away with time.
Many people feel a “drink” eases tension. However, alcohol is not useful to the body in coping with stress.
Even if the incident was a serious one. Or consequences occurred due to the actions of others. It is okay to enjoy yourself and forget the incident. There may be a time later when you need to recall what happened.
Caring is fine but constant worrying serves no true purpose.
Be kind to yourself, go to a movie, get involved in an activity you enjoy, etc.